Thursday, January 1, 2015

new years blah blah blah

Well, I'm lying in my bed with my eye mask pushed up on my forehead (sleep diva, don't judge) because I totally went to bed at a decent-ish time and then my brain was like 'ha!' and something about killing my sleep schedule last week and I really should be asleep. Tomorrow will be my first day back at work after a very nice and long Christmas vacation. (Bless you, PTO.) 

I'm afraid 6:30 is going to come a little extra early tomorrow. And, I'm also not concerned. Because worrying about how I'm not asleep isn't making me fall asleep any faster. So, here I am to offer up my word vomit to the blog world so that, perhaps, my mind can stop spinning in circles and I can maybe get a little rest. 

I'm a big fan of New Years and new weeks (and new hours for that matter). Fresh starts are a beautiful thing. Sometimes I like resolutions, sometimes I like to choose a word of the year, other times I like the feeling of everything being unwritten and spending the year discovering what my word/lesson of the year is/was. 

I have goals for this year. Kind of just general things I want to do that I'm keeping to myself. More like it's a surprise that only I get to know about or something (this isn't a wimpy cop out, promise). And besides all that, I think that maybe this year is going to be the year where I give myself permission to really live. 

I'm probably not going to make any bold life changes in the name of "really living" (although, I won't rule that option out). Really, I just want to admit to myself that it's okay to be me. And I kind of want everyone else to give themselves permission too. Not in a YOLO way, but in the way where you tell yourself what you already know deep inside. I think we all feel something so honest, it's scary. Something telling us that we are good. That we can think for ourselves in incredible ways. That we can give ourselves permission to be what we want to be instead of waiting for someone to tell us who we are supposed to be. 

This year, I'm giving myself permission to stop needing permission. Or validation. Or check lists. Or shoulds and supposed-tos. Because I got a small taste of the power that comes from just living by what I feel in 2014 and I liked it an awful lot. I don't actually know what exactly I want out of 2015, so, no lists for me. But I do know that I want everything to be what I want. Because I want good things. And I imagine I'll probably do a few great things in 2015, maybe more than a few. And I'm kind of excited to stumble upon what those great things are. All in the name of follow your heart or whatever way you want to phrase that (and make a pinterest meme out of it.) 

So. There's that.

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