Thursday, October 10, 2013

#elisebrain

Oh, blogging, how I miss you. I really have needed this break from blogging (I'm also not sure the break is over) but I also am realizing that I seriously miss writing and having a place to put together all my thoughts and ramble and stuff. (pronounced stuuuuuuff)

Where to start?

Life. Life is so crazy. In a super good way. I've been crazy overwhelmed lately. Mostly just internal kind of overwhelm. You know? I'm way too hard on myself, I'm insecure, I'm trying to be better... But I've also been trying to go out of my comfort zone and try new things and allow myself to be seen as imperfect (hello, people pleasers anonymous). So, it's been really good. I feel all kinds of vulnerable and insecure, but the discomfort is really pushing me to be better.

Boyyys. Oh, boys. We all love us some Wednesday dear boy posts, right? But here's the thing. Any time I let myself even imagine that there is a hint of potential, I psych myself out and I'm too scared to blog about it because I'll jinx it or a boy I like will actually read my blog and I'll creep him out... It's a situation. I think too much. I mean, like, I worry about how much I'm worrying. hashtag mom probs. Minus the part where I'm not even a mom yet. So, anyway, boys. I like them. That's all I'm blogging about that.

Work. My job rocks. And occasionally gives me lots of anxiety. The thing is, I'm a people pleaser. We've established that. Plus, social media marketing is so measurable. Can we be real for a moment? I know you've all deleted an instagram photo because it didn't pass that magical 11 likes mark within an hour and you were like "oh, apparently that picture sucks I'mma pretend it never happened." That's a real thing. So, let's pretend now that you facebook, instagram, pinterest, etc. all day for multiple companies and are constantly watching likes, impressions, comments, and shares. Here's my chant: MY WORTH IS NOT DEFINED OR MEASURED BY INSTAGRAM LIKES. I get that, but woah, it takes some serious effort to remember that. (And to not delete a >11 double tapped picture. #livewithoutpretending #andstuff)

Church. Here's the honest truth: I would be completely lost and hopeless without the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I seriously have had some crazy roller coaster weeks for the past little while and the thing I've been able to really rely on is my faith and my knowledge of God's love for me. I've had so many tender mercies, so many reassurances that I'm actually not crazy and that I should keep doing what I feel prompted to be doing, so much added strength that I know isn't coming from me... I am so blessed. And I know the most wonderful people. My roommates, my friends, incredible priesthood holders, my family... How did my life get to be so good?

#girlbrain. It's a thing. Nichelle and I have it. #girlbrain is what happens when you stop thinking with faith and let worry take over. It looks like this:

You get it.


And there you have a whole lotta word vomit. Blog vomit? #elisebrain The end.
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