Saturday, August 31, 2013

midnight train to cray cray.

Can we just talk about how growing up is really really hard?
Or about how I left the institute dance tonight in tears?
Not necessarily bad tears, just I am crazy overwhelmed and it's built up and I've kept it in until now and now that I let the tears start, waterworks are going to happen for the next 2 hours.

So much for holding back those tears, right?

Because I haven't blogged in a while, there are a lot of things I want to say. My mind is still processing my whole life in terms of blog posts. It's kind of become a part of me now. But I literally have so much in my life right now that it got to the point of blogging or sleep - choose only one. And girl's gotta have some beauty rest.

My life is really really great and amazing and wonderful. That is an important thing to share. But besides that it's super busy, stressful, crazy, challenging, and confusing. And that's without even considering dating stresses. (Oh, dating. Why are you the way that you are?) I've got a whole collection of dear boys posts that are stocked up in my mind. Stories for days. Worrying for days.

And, in the middle of all this craziness, I'm learning a lot about myself and about who I want to be. And about how I really think. And I've started to wonder why. I've always been one to be optimistic and very believing. Which I still am, really. But my brain just wants to know more, to understand why. So, I'm being stretched a lot.

So, there I was, jamming out to the cupid shuffle and complaining about dating with my friend Wendi when the tears started to well up in my eyes. It was almost like I hadn't even realized I still had such intense feelings about what we were talking about. And then they just didn't stop. And suddenly all the work stress, life stress, self-imposed stress... it all came out. And Wendi, bless her soul, just listened. That girl is seriously a real gem.

And guess what. Now I'm blogging at midnight, I'm done crying, and I feel all kinds of hopeful again. And also tired. But mostly hopeful. So, life is good.
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