Monday, January 7, 2013

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of the heart...

So, Valentines Day is coming up, right? At least that's what the people who make the big bucks in retail think. But really. Christmas is "that time of year when the world falls in love" (thank you, Karen Carpenter), then it's New Years Eve and you've got to have someone to kiss at midnight (cue Nsync, please), then it's Valentines Day, then it's springtime and everyone's all twitterpated (a la Bambi), then it's time for some summer lovin' (had me a blaaast), then the weather starts to get chilly again and all you want is someone to snuggle with.

Am I right? Love is an all-year-round kind of business. 

I have a confession: I have been a love-hater.
Bitter "old" maid.
The Grinch who stole Valentines Day.

I mean, not always. Just sometimes. Sometimes it's sucky to see everyone and their dog in love and to feel completely hopeless. And sometimes, it's easier to just be a grump and roll your eyes at disgusting old couples who think it's appropriate to neck at The Crepery. (Okay, that really was disgusting.) 

Buuuuut, it's a situation that I think needs to be remedied. I'm pretty sure that at some point, I stopped really believing in love. I believe other people fall in love, I believe in cute old couples that have been in love forever and ever, but somewhere along the lines I stopped believing that I could fall in love and that someone could fall in love with me.

And isn't that like the dumbest thing ever? 

I'm a happy person, I'm confident, I like to think that I understand a lot about my self-worth. I like myself. And I've gotten past the mean girls stage of life... meaning, I don't worry so much about what other girls think of me. If I feel like a girl doesn't think I'm pretty, it doesn't bother me any more. Which is really cool, because instead of caring about what they think of me, I care about them and build real relationships. 

But, in my bitter "old" maid-ness, I never really started believing that boys might like me, that they might think I'm beautiful, and that they might want to date me. And really, I'm not that bitter. I've learned how to be very happy on my own. But deep down, I want to be in love. But why would someone want to love me if I can't believe that they would? 

So, that got a little more personal than I originally intended this post to be. But, I'm genuinely asking you: How do you believe in love? Am I alone in this insecurity? Is it a me thing or is it an every girl thing? How do you overcome that? Because somewhere, deep inside, I really do believe in love. 
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