I realized this as I was writing in my journal last night. I can't even be completely honest in my journal because I don't want to seem... too girly, or too naive, or too unsure of myself. I want to act like I know everything about everything. I'm pretty sure the word for me is stuffy.
I don't sky dive, I don't cliff jump, I don't even play ultimate frisbee because I'm frightened of things flying at my head. I gave up on having "crushes" this summer because if you don't like someone, you can't be disappointed when they don't like you back. I run away from situations that might make me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think I need to get into sky diving, but I do think I might need to allow myself to feel vulnerable again and take some risks. I'm pretty sure taking risks is the way to accomplish the greatest things.
I'm just scared.