I don't really think I'm awesome.
I act like I do, I talk like I do, but deep down, I'm not sure I actually believe it.
I believe that I'm an alright person, I believe that I'm nice, I believe that I'm kind of good at some things and that maybe I have some special talents. I believe that people like me alright. But, in the end, I think I kind of just believe that I'm mediocre.
I don't really believe that people will like me the way that I am.
I don't really believe that I will ever be good enough.
I don't really believe that if someone ever really got to know me, they would think I'm as cool as I sometimes act.
I also don't really believe that anyone could ever love me enough to want to marry me. (As I type that, I understand it's silly, but deep down, I just don't believe it.)
And, sometimes people tell me how great I am, and I feel so special, but I kind of shove it off and think "well, that was nice of them, but if they understood this, they probably wouldn't think that."
And I don't really believe it's okay to feel that way about yourself.
I also know that those feelings are not coming from a reliable source.
I am a Child of God. I am His daughter. That fact alone, gives me infinite worth.
I'm not perfect. But I try to live the way He would have me live. That gives me purpose. He would not have me live a mediocre life.
My Heavenly Father loves me. Me. Individually. "Good enough" is a funny term. Good enough to what? Be Prom Queen? Good enough to get your dream job? Good enough to be someone's mother, someone's friend, someone's spouse?
Maybe I don't need to be "good enough". Maybe I just need to be good.
I love the song "Who Says" by Selena Gomez. But at the same time, I don't.
Allow me to explain: "Who says? Who says you're not perfect?" I say I'm not perfect. I'm striving, but I am so not there yet. I think if we all thought we reached a level of perfection, maybe we'd stop trying. Which is not why we are here on earth. We're here to progress.
But the next line? "Who says? Who says you're not worth it?" I like that line. Satan is the one telling us we're not worth it. Through the media, the comparisons we make... it's everywhere. It's no wonder we doubt our value!
|Photography and design by Elise. Use it, share it, love it. Just give me some credit too. :)|
Believe that you are worth it. Because you ARE worth it. Worth what you ask? Worth it ALL. Worth that dream job or that dream guy. Worth that person's time. Worth keeping around. Worth learning from.
And I'll keep telling myself that I am worth it, too.