Sunday, February 5, 2012

there is nothing sexy about self-worth

Lately I've been taking issue with the whole concept of being sexy.

Sexy essentially means being sexually inviting, yes? Let's dictionary dot com that one...

sexy  (ˈsɛksɪ)

— adj  , sexier , sexiest
1. provoking or intended to provoke sexual interest: a sexy dress ; a sexy book
2. feeling sexual interest; aroused
3. interesting, exciting, or trendy: a sexy project ; a sexy new car
Okay, so definition 3 is a more casual use that we've developed. But, the real meaning of the word is provoking sexual interest. You agree? Good. I knew you would.

So, here's my beef about it. #eliseisonhersoapboxagain

As women, we are told constantly that we need to be thinner... to be more sexy.
We need to wear more revealing clothing... to be more sexy.
Blah blah blah... to be more sexy.

If our goals are to be more sexy... then really, our goals are to have more sex?

Being single, yes, I want to attract men. I want to date, be in a relationship, get married, and yes, when the time comes (and it's a healthy part of my marriage) I want to have sex. But whether or not you choose to have sex before or save that until after marriage, why is that the focus in dating and relationships?

Ladies, we are worth so much more. 

We have value beyond how we dress, our weight, and who wants to have sex with us. None of those things define our worth. Pope John Paul II once said that "the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of a person, but that it shows too little." Who we truly are is not about our body. It's not about how much we make someone want to have sex with us. Who we are is deep within us the things we value, the choices we make, the person we want to become. When we dress "sexy" we take the focus off who we are, and put it on what we are. We become objects of pleasure, not women of worth.

I love this video because it totally puts things into perspective.

So, I don't want to be sexy. I want to be beautiful. I want to dress in a way that shows that I know my worth. I am confident in who I am and what I want out of life. That's why I'll continue to choose not to wear bikinis, short shorts, etc. I'll be feminine, elegant, pretty, and gorgeous because I value who I am more than I care about the pressure of the world to be sexy. Because I am worth that.

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