Thursday, February 16, 2012

a lengthy introspective post about creativity

Lately, I've been less than happy with my photography, my blogging, etc.

I felt like my creativity up and went out the window, down the street, and on a plane to somewhere far far away. I was getting super antsy before all my photoshoots, I was blogging because I was expected to, I posted less pictures on my blog because I wasn't pleased with how the pictures looked or I was too lazy to take pictures. Most of all, I was only doing things to meet people's expectations, not because I wanted to.

Then, I was talking to this girl about this girl who we went out for froyo with. (Aren't we all cute and tall and BFF-y?)

Anyway, Elisabeth (on the left) was saying that she loved reading Ashley's (on my right) blog because Ashley had posted once saying that she didn't blog for other people, she did it for herself. She blogs what she wants when she wants. As Elisabeth was saying this, I thought to myself "That's totally what I believe! If you don't love what you're blogging about, you shouldn't do it."

And then I had to admit to myself that I wasn't blogging because I wanted to anymore. I was blogging because I felt like I owed it to my sponsors and to my readers. But let me let you in on a little secret: When I post the most random things at 11:00 at night just because I felt like blogging, those posts get a way better response than the posts that I write at noon when I know people are most likely to be online to read it and I force myself to write something. Funny, huh?

I also have been realizing that I'm less pleased with my photography because I spend the time in the photoshoot trying to impress the client with my awesome photographer-ness and professionalism. While that's great and all... I was so worried about impressing my client, that I stopped getting to know my client and trying new, creative things. So, I had photography down to a formal, professional routine. And that is not what I love about photography.

So, a couple weekends ago Elisabeth tagged along as my assistant for a photoshoot with our beautiful friend, Whitney. I was determined to take my time, be creative, and not worry about impressing her but just have fun. And when I did, I got this:

I think life just gets this way sometimes. We put limits on ourselves and do things for other people- to impress them and try to live up to their standards. But life is for us- to make out own choices and create our experiences. If we rush things and only do things to impress others, we lose the beauty of it all and lose sight of the true happiness of life.

Be yourself. Do things because you want to, because you love them. Learn and grow on your own time schedule. Create your life the way you want it.
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