Thursday, January 26, 2012

IDK, my BFF, Ashley??

Hello Elises lovely readers! Elise's blog caught my eye over a year ago and I have loved it from day one, I am honored to be guest posting for her! She is a fellow aggie, a funny blogger, and I will never get over her bowling ball story! She is amazing, am I right?

My name is Ashley, and I blog over at Refreshing Imperfection. A lifestyle blog about everything I love, it changes everyday. I dont claim to be a relationship expert in the slightest, but I am very very happy with mine, and here are some tidbits of advice I took from others throughout my life- that I will pass via blog to YOU!

We are all at different stages, here is some advice to fit your life- wherever it may be..

So you think you want a DATE...

1- Be you. Dont pretend to like things you dont like in an effort to win someone. Don't pretend certain things don't bother you, if they actually do. I guarantee being YOU and finding someone who loves every bit of YOU will guarantee a more successful relationship.
2- Don't make a list. You know,THE list of what you want, need etc. Give everyone a chance. You never know how you will mesh with someone, and how sad would it be to miss out on someone who is great for you- because he likes star wars? cough cough ;) I am married to the polar opposite of what my 'list' was, and he is literally the perfect match for me.
3- Be the kind of person you want to date. If you want someone who cares about school, you need to. If you want someone who is spiritual, you need to be. If you want someone who is healthy, you need to be. Not only is this simple and practical- but you can guarantee you are improving yourself every day.
4- Its not me, its YOU. The best advice my dad ever gave me for dating was ask the other person about themselves as much as possible. I have a little ticker in my head running at all times, and I always try to ask people 2 questions about them for every 1 they ask me. If you sit in any date scenario and talk about yourself the whole time, you wont have a 2nd date.. guaranteed.
5- Have a well rounded relationship. The healthiest relationships have intellectual aspects, spiritual aspects, and physical aspects. You need to engage in all 3 aspects to keep things balanced. If you have a relationship that is strictly physical- but you cant carry on a conversation- it wont work out, and visa versa. Get balance!

Now onto MARRIAGE...

1- Make the most of the time you have together. Chances are you will be busy. Everyone is. My husband is gone at work, or night school from 7 am until 9 pm. So when we actually have time together we make the most of it. No computers allowed during our alone time. We make fun plans on the weekends etc. I also take Justin lunch everyday during work so the kids can see him too.
2- Go to bed at the same time, and no TV in your bedroom. This was one of my favorite pieces of advice when we were engaged. Pillow talk isn't only fun, its the key to constant communication every day. If we dont get to have a single uninterrupted conversation during the day thanks to the kids- we can count on our pillow talk time before bed.
3- Love Notes- we write a lot, sometimes its a just a text message, sometimes its on a post-it on his steering wheel, sometimes its on the back of a receipt he gives me for budgeting, and most of the time its on our shower wall. We have bathtub crayons in our shower, and each day we write each other a little note in there, our shower wall is covered in dorky little love notes, its my favorite part of the morning -seeing what he wrote for me before he left for work.
4- Don't husband bash. There are 2 things I despise: husband bashers, and husband molders. Of course there are things sometimes that drive me crazy, but I talk with him and only him about it.  Also, I dont mold my husband. He is who he wants to be. I never asked him to change his job, or major, or hobbies to fit a mold of what I want. I never 'make' him to do anything. And it goes visa versa, I am me- and he lets me be everything I am. After all, I fell in love with HIM. Everything he likes, or has- is a part of him. I'll take the whole cake. thankyouverymuch.
5- Enforced Bedtime. While having kids was once of the best things for our marriage (nothing EVER compares to being parents together) it also added one of the biggest stresses. Our alone time was cut to almost nothing. Once we started enforcing an early bedtime (my kids go to bed at 7:30) it gave us at least 3-4 hours a night of alone time. We use that alone time wisely. Sometimes its eating dinner together, sometimes its games, sometimes its couching it up and catching up on the dvr. But we have this guaranteed time together every night. Its ESSENTIAL.

I would LOVE to hear any advice that you readers have for how you've made your relationships healthy and happy! Add them in the comments to share with us!
Thanks for reading, Elise's Pieces readers!

Feel free to stop by my blog anytime at Refreshing Imperfection.


Seriously guys, check Ashley's blog out. I ADORE her. And someday our lunch date plans will actually work out, I'm sure of it. 

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