Monday, October 10, 2011

giving up

I'm having one of those I-feel-worthless days. Nothing I do seems to go right. I'm saying stupid things, I'm tripping over myself, and I feel just plain awful. I think I broke some really great boy's heart and I can't stop thinking about how terrible I feel. I am scared to death over my grades this semester, even though I'm doing relatively well. I just want to be done with school and graduate, but at the same time, searching for and getting a big girl job sounds like ZERO fun. AND I've got a small replica of Mt. Kilimanjaro on my forehead. So my self-esteem is about as high as our nation's deficit.

So, I'm giving up.

I'm giving up on anyone who tells me I can't do it.
I'm giving up on feeling worthless.
I'm giving up on worrying too much.
I'm giving up on feeling guilty.
I'm giving up on being afraid to progress in life.
I'm giving up on feeling unwanted.
I'm giving up on low self-esteem.
I'm giving up on the terrible thoughts and ideas that I know all come from Satan.

He wants me to fail. But you know what?

I give up on failure. 
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