Friday, September 9, 2011

dear boys: Alexis Laughs style

Guys. I love this girl.
Like, creepy-blog-stalk-now-friends-on-FB kind of love.
We were meant to be bloggy BFFs.
Which means you're probably meant to be bloggy BFFs with her too.
So, I'll let her do her thing, and you'll fall in love.


Hello friends! I love making new friends! I'm so happy to be here making friends. Oh, I'm awkward. As you can tell. Will you still be my friend? So I made a post on a thought I had:  "It's a good thing I'm married...because I was a really bad dater."

Which naturally, is perfect for Elise's blog because she has awesome stories about boys and dates and letters to boys that make you laugh.

That's right. Time to share some dating stories.

I can say this because I'm married, but once upon a time, I was thought of as a creeper. To me, things just aren't a big deal. Once I asked a friend to go with me to a co-workers wedding. I thought of it as just some fun, free food and supporting a co-worker. I didn't know that boys thought of wedding "dates" as such a forward committment binding move. He thought of this as me saying "oh em gee we are so going to be next in this getting married business and i'm taking him to a wedding so this is a big deal and we're going to have 9 baby girls and he's going to buy me a 2 karat ring and propose in Italy and I'm so the bomb!" Long story short, the committaphobe was a meanie to me because he thought I was proposing and I wasn't even interested. Oops. Now come to think of it, the introducing to
 "uh...this is my friend"
"you're FRIEND, huh?"
Yeah that was awkward.
Lesson learned.

Similar story, I invited Clint to dinner at my parents after our first date. I didn't think of it as a "oh, come meet my parents and i'll decide if imma keep you around" thing. I more thought of it as "oh hey, you're a starving college boy, my mom cooks real good and I kinda like to look at you so this will be nice." Plus he invited me over that night and I already had plans with my family. I just combined the two! He thought it was really forward [oops], but I guess it worked! 
Then of course there were those blind dates set up by friends that made me want to say, "oh, lookie there. There's my house. Go ahead and drop me off. Yes I live at QT. Don't ask questions. You don't even have to stop, just slow down and I'll hit and roll."

Oh. This is my favorite. There was this one double date that my best friend and I went one. He asked me to drive because, you know, he didn't want us to mess up his car or anything. Wish I was kidding. Then we were walking to my car after dinner and the two of them straight up got in a fist fight in the parking lot. We're just sitting in the car wide eyed staring at each other. Remember that Britt? Oh and do you remember how he said something about me being sexy [while licking his lips and looking me up and down] and I sort of yelled at him and told him he could not talk to me like that and how I deserved respect and then I almost punched him in the eye? Oh and your date said how he was in jail or got arrested or something crazy. Then there was that time where he wouldn't let me out from the booth to go to the restroom and I almost crawled on the floor out. Then there was that time he "pretended" to grab me and that was it and I took them "home" but dropped them on the side of the road that was close enough?
Then there was that time more than once where the boy didn't open my door so I walked over to his side of the car, grabbed his hand, and led him to my side to open my door. 
Then there was that guy who asked me out multiple times and then when I said yes stood me up. And then I talked to him on the phone for like an hour about how you don't treat people like that. We turned into really good friends actually.

Wow this is getting embarrassing.

Then there was that date where the boy, who I thought shared my religious beliefs, attacked what I believed in and played me weird music with high pitched elf voices singing about fish heads. 
Then there was the boy who took me slow dancing under the stars on our first date over Valentines weekend and it was really romantic and it really freaked me out but then later I realized he was a really great guy and we got to be great friends and still are.

Then there was the boy who after one date was bringing me gifts to work and leaving gifts on my door step and being really forward so I decided to give it a chance and then he was like WOAH I'm not ready to get married and I was like I don't want to get married I don't even know about next week pal I was just goin with the flowin you were makin.

Then there was the time I learned about my dates anger management problems when we got lost and I was about to ask if I could ride in the backseat the rest of the way.
Then there were the typical stories. The boys with such bad breath they made you want to turn into a fish so you'd never have to breathe air again. There's always the forward boys who go into kiss you right as you're thinking they would get along really well with your little brother [as in the they're really immature and play war of warcraft erry day]. 

Then of course there were the countless mistakes I made. All the tears I cried over boys who never really cared about me. The time I went back to the guy who cheated on me because he groveled and I really thought he changed then he did the same thing a week later. [insert puke sound effects here] Then there were of course the times in my younger days where I thought I had to adapt my personality into what they wanted. I thought I had to change my clothes, hair, body. Thank goodness high school is over. There were the boys I was much too bold with and much too forward [mostly on accident]. There were the times my attraction was based soley on looks. There were times I should have been more gentle with precious hearts. There were times I got a tad too jealous of the girl dating the boy I thought was "the one." Live and Learn I guess!

But then there was that one special date. The only first date I can honstely say I loved and wanted to go out again. Previously, I didn't care which way they went...I was never all that interested. There was the boy that swept me off my feet. The one who embraced my independance, boldness, and yes, daily sweatpants.
He respected me, loved me, and cared for me. I didn't have to worry about him not being loyal to me, lying to me, or being disrespectful. He's more than I could have dreamed of in my dating years. I wish I could express how much I mean that. If you're in the dating stage of life, remember you deserve to be respected. When it's too hard, it's usually a big red flag. Real life Princes exist. Work at becoming the person you think your prince deserves. And most importantly, if there's someone out there for my ridiculously creative, dreamer, sometimes over emotional self, there's someone out there for you too.
Isn't that right sweetheart? :)

p.s. If you have any crazy dating stories, leave them in the comments. I seriously want to hear them!
oh, and also, I didn't proofread or spell check. Sorry about the spelling errors I just don't even feel like fixing them.
And I'll leave you with this:

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